τнε sρψ шнσ шλπτs τσ dιε
by Oceania-Chuu
Summary: {Spy!England X Reader} This is a story of a poor girl she is obsessed with dying, and withering away from this cruel world. One day, she gets hauled into her new training camp, without her knowing, and this is where she'll gain friends for the first time. Will she stay obsessed?
1. A Plot To Cease

_"I've always dressed as a guy.  
I never wanted to be a girl.  
Because it's filled with hardships and emotional mood swings.  
Like, liking someone and getting rejected, doesn't it hurt?  
I've always wanted to be a guy..."_

It's another day of lurking on the streets, hoping to find a decent job.

It's been days, probably months since I've begun my hunt for a living.

_"Excuse me sir, would you happen to know about any open jobs?"_

I asked hesitantly.

_"No, sir. I apologize greatly."_

The man responded as I muttered a quick,

_"Alright."_

I walked on and hunted the streets once more for my job, getting even more hopeless as each day passes by.

I couldn't take it anymore, I'd commit suicide if I could!

For I am left with almost nothing, just an empty house filled with memories of the past, and my wretched life.

What else could I achieve? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

I sat there, in my room, staring blankly at the wall opposite of me.

Holding a pistol on my right hand, ready to shoot.

I felt like dying, lying there in a pool of red, drifting into a quiet death.

**_No one would know, no one would care. _**

My body was to be left there, rotting into bones and ashes.

Waiting to be blown away by the wind, being forgotten in this forever caliginous world.

Should I?

_"Bang!"_

There goes the bullet, missing my head by mere centimetres, attempted to be shot by someone else.

I looked at the person who endeavoured such a dangerous act that I was going to do myself.

A tall silhouette stood by my door frame, holding two revolvers on either side of his hands.

_"A sharpshooter, are we? Missed me by this much."_

I spoke dully.

_"Oh, trust me, miss. I intended to miss you. I could've killed you if I just could."_

He returned my dull tone.

_"Why are you here anyway? Who are you and how do you know I'm a girl?"_

I asked with a tint of expression.

_"Enough questions, miss! I'd slay you right here if you say another word!"_

He snapped.

_"Hmm, now why would that be?" _

I responded, still the pistol in hand.

_"I'm here to take you to..."_


	2. A Chased Away Life

_"I'm here to take you to..."_

_ "Bang!"_

There goes another bullet, another hole and another silhouette.

_"Shut it." _

The newcomer spoke.

_"You're coming with us, miss."_

He spoke yet again.

_"Oh, what if I don't want to?"_

I replied sharply, a grin tugged at the corners of my thin lips.

_"Then, you'll die." _

He responded coldly.

_"Oh? I have a gun right here. I could murder you this very minute, too." _

I spoke cleverly.

_"I'd like to see you try."_

The shadowed man smirked.

I lifted up my pistol, ready to shoot with eagerness.

Safety disabled.

I drew the slide on top of the barrel and loaded the bullet into the firing chamber.

I pointed it towards the second silhouette, and pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened.

I scowled at the shadowed men, then pulled the trigger once more.

Nothing happened.

My face showed utter bafflement.

I pointed the gun towards my face, checking the insides of the firing chamber.

_"Shoot."_

I muttered.

I actually unloaded the gun days before, in fear that I'd kill myself with it.

Tch. Always such a bad timing I do with things.

"_Well you ain't so strong now, missy."_

He stated smugly.

_"Tch."_

I said.

_'I have to think of a way out of this situation, right now._

Ah! I just have to do that even though it doesn't guarantee my life.' 

I thought in complete tension.

_"Get her!" _

One of the shadowed figures shouted.

I lunged towards the closed window to the east of where I once sat.

The shadowed men got lit under the only source of light in my dimly lit room.

They wore matching uniforms, dark and black.

No wonder they blended so perfectly with the sombreness that night brought in each day.

I hopped off the window pane, then hopped roof after roof.

The men, still following closely behind.

"_Argh.."_

I said as I felt agonizing pain pump through my left leg.

Crud, I probably got it caught on a lost nail or something.

I still continued sprinting towards the unending line up of roofs.

Until I ended up dead in my tracks as I met a wall, face to face.

I sighed.

_"It was nice meeting you world, thank you for giving me a terrible life..."_

I spoke sarcastically to myself as I crouched down on the roof.

I closed my eyes and rested for a tad bit.

It took a couple of seconds until I felt someone forcing me to drink some type of liquid or poison.

I just gave in, I have no match for them anyway.

This painful life is just too much, I'd rather die.

I really hate my hopelessness, it always drags me down at some point.

It's been a nice journey, I'm ready to give up.

To give my life, it's alright.

It's absolutely fine with me, I don't have anything to fight for.

Haha.

You know, it's hard to put up with my life.

Begging there, hoping here, just a little bit of everything thrown in.

I can give up now and die a peaceful death.

The men gagged me then, hauled me to a new place, unknown to me.

"No one would know, no one would care..."

I whispered quietly through the thin cloth, then drifted into a tranquil and deep sleep.

It felt good to be free from my problems.

I felt free, like I could fly.

Only if I could, only if I could.

Yet I have given up my horrendous life, for my own joy and happiness.

**I wish I could live again.**

But then again, am I dead?

Have I drifted off to heaven?

Or have I just went off to a lengthy slumber?

Then stabbed by my killers?

I don't really know.

Right now, I am just in a place filled with unending white.

So I questioned myself,

'_Is this haven?'_


End file.
